BillFitzmaurice.info

Seth wrote: ↑Sat Nov 18, 2023 5:08 pmPerfect

Sweet, I'll have it done up, cheers

My son created this today as my other friend is over committed with his design work, what do you think?

Looks perfect to me. Thanks for doing this.

I like it.

Looks great, though a few minor bits:

Add a comma after On in the heading.

Make it "contributions", plural, and end that sentence with a period.

Add an Oxford comma after experience, though that is up to personal preference.

Thank your son for us!

Looks good.
Rich4349 has a few good points.

He tried to get a space in after the comma in the heading but couldn't, he'll try again tomorrow..

I think this is not entirely correct english:

your friends <snip> offer our sincere gratitude

as it mixes up third person ("your friends") and first person ("our").


One way to write it correctly could be:

your friends <snip> offer their sincere gratitude

Another way:

We, your friends at <snip>, offer our sincere gratitude

I apologize for being the resident grammar-freak-for-the-day (and not even a native speaker - double sorry ).

And I want to add that I like it very much. You got the tone just right.

Too easy, you're right Anton, we'll jump back on that tonight, and thank you.

When this is done post it as a new thread under the title Grant Bunter Memorial. After you post it I'll make it a Sticky. Then everyone can add their comment and it will remain at the top of the page.

Bill Fitzmaurice wrote: ↑Wed Nov 22, 2023 8:24 am When this is done post it as a new thread under the title Grant Bunter Memorial. After you post it I'll make it a Sticky. Then everyone can add their comment and it will remain at the top of the page.

Ok, will do Bill. Are we calling it done?

Remove the comma after Billfitzmaurice.info then I say we are calling it done.

Well... since we're squeezing the ever living piss outta these two sentences... I would change the "but" in the second portion to "and". Also add a little to the end of it indicating perpetuity.

"Your absence will be felt and the generosity of your time, experience, and knowledge will go on to help others for many years to come."