Legalize An Audience Gun
Posted: Wed Mar 06, 2024 12:42 pm
Someone needs to legalize a bird shot round that goes about 8 feet. The audiences are miserable in recent
decades unless you are wise enough to be a specialty band doing just blues or folk, or something where the
audience actually shows up to hear talent. Not so the case now days in America . . . it needs to be legal to
open fire on anyone within hitting distance. Do I hate people? Yup, the audience at least.
I am not booking my Dueling Piano show much as I'm sick of having to play the same 20 karaoke songs. My bands
didnt take requests in the 60's and 70's. The audience wanted special songs at least from progressive rock bands
and they trusted us to bring the goods. Now they're brainwashed and numb. Just being there getting drunk proves that.
Audiences overseas are way more intelligent about music than Americans.
Today's morons only want Sweet Caroline, Dont Stop Believing and some other worn out puke that karaoke singers
try to sing. With internet dating sites, you dont have to dance with girls to mingle. Dance floors used to be jammed.
If you didnt have a table by 8:30 on a weekend you stood in the back. Bars had bouncers In wrestling referee shirts
and they'd pound your a$$ if you jumped up on stage. Always buy your bouncers a drink. . .
Keep your " Cheeseburger, Coke, and Fries" at the drive through window song list. In the 60's and 70' I didnt have a$$holes
grabbing my mike every night while I'm singing. No more weddings. I will not be their baby sitter while trying to run a piano
show. Kids are on all fours crawling under the pianos while we perform, knocking out cables and such. Dragging our props out
in the audience, stealing our show items like tamborines and such. I wanna kill the parents but I guess that might look bad if
the entertainer punched some "dad". So no more weddings and I wont end up in jail that night. Or the hospital. A guitarist can
move out of the way of these little rats, I cant.
One good story: A Top 40 progressive band I was in back in the early 70's returned to a ballroom after not having been
there for 6 months and a girl talked to me on break and said the coolest thing. She said "I see your bassist bought a new bass".
WOW, SHE NOTICED THE BASS. No lie. People required good music from top bands back then and they were aware of things.
Sure, you could work all the time in some part time band, have a blast, and not know more than 5 chords or a swing beat
because times were good and bars were full but to have a 20 year old girl, non musician, notice the bass is different?
As a synthesiser guy trying to sound like the Carrs, Styx, progressive bands, the audience would notice if the synths didnt sound like
Rick Wakeman or the record. Geez. But, that was better than what we have now. The synth guy with lots of new gear got hired right
away. Now every $800 synth sounds good enough for almost any gig.
I do hate the audience and will not get help for it. I avoid them and that's why jazz and fusion gigs that pay nothing are fun. You are a
musician up there, not a baby sitter. If I could only monitize hating the audience. . .
decades unless you are wise enough to be a specialty band doing just blues or folk, or something where the
audience actually shows up to hear talent. Not so the case now days in America . . . it needs to be legal to
open fire on anyone within hitting distance. Do I hate people? Yup, the audience at least.
I am not booking my Dueling Piano show much as I'm sick of having to play the same 20 karaoke songs. My bands
didnt take requests in the 60's and 70's. The audience wanted special songs at least from progressive rock bands
and they trusted us to bring the goods. Now they're brainwashed and numb. Just being there getting drunk proves that.
Audiences overseas are way more intelligent about music than Americans.
Today's morons only want Sweet Caroline, Dont Stop Believing and some other worn out puke that karaoke singers
try to sing. With internet dating sites, you dont have to dance with girls to mingle. Dance floors used to be jammed.
If you didnt have a table by 8:30 on a weekend you stood in the back. Bars had bouncers In wrestling referee shirts
and they'd pound your a$$ if you jumped up on stage. Always buy your bouncers a drink. . .
Keep your " Cheeseburger, Coke, and Fries" at the drive through window song list. In the 60's and 70' I didnt have a$$holes
grabbing my mike every night while I'm singing. No more weddings. I will not be their baby sitter while trying to run a piano
show. Kids are on all fours crawling under the pianos while we perform, knocking out cables and such. Dragging our props out
in the audience, stealing our show items like tamborines and such. I wanna kill the parents but I guess that might look bad if
the entertainer punched some "dad". So no more weddings and I wont end up in jail that night. Or the hospital. A guitarist can
move out of the way of these little rats, I cant.
One good story: A Top 40 progressive band I was in back in the early 70's returned to a ballroom after not having been
there for 6 months and a girl talked to me on break and said the coolest thing. She said "I see your bassist bought a new bass".
WOW, SHE NOTICED THE BASS. No lie. People required good music from top bands back then and they were aware of things.
Sure, you could work all the time in some part time band, have a blast, and not know more than 5 chords or a swing beat
because times were good and bars were full but to have a 20 year old girl, non musician, notice the bass is different?
As a synthesiser guy trying to sound like the Carrs, Styx, progressive bands, the audience would notice if the synths didnt sound like
Rick Wakeman or the record. Geez. But, that was better than what we have now. The synth guy with lots of new gear got hired right
away. Now every $800 synth sounds good enough for almost any gig.
I do hate the audience and will not get help for it. I avoid them and that's why jazz and fusion gigs that pay nothing are fun. You are a
musician up there, not a baby sitter. If I could only monitize hating the audience. . .