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and then after thirty years of working together, organizing and and playing music on numerous weddings, birthday parties and dances we're sitting together deciding what titles to play on his funeral!

my best friend, DJ and colleague sound engineer for the past thirty years asks me to describe him and which song would describe his feelings on the ceremony held when he dies!

I'm heartbroken, he has to undergo surgery next week and has a 15% chance of surviving the surgery, damned, life is so unfair, we have big plans but it seems they're not going to happen.

I'm hoping for the 15% of course but what am I to do if next week I have to play the music on the most frightening event I've ever done????????????

this is one of the days I wish .......... it was me!

I don't have any advice, but I'm sorry to hear that.

I'm very sorry you may be losing a very close friend. What will you do? You will do what he would like you to do and play the best damned songs ever. Songs that celebrate his life and mourn his passing, with notes of tears and sorrow, hope and strength. Play the greatest songs ever which will be spectacular and amazing in and of themselves yet will be a pale shadow of what he means to you and those in his life.

I am hoping for the 15% for you! My brother passed (wow, can it already be?) 7 months ago at the tender age of 31 and I am still extremely broken by it. Be strong, man, be strong.

Damn thats a bitter pil to swallow. 15% isn't much but it's something. Preparing a funeral for a close friend is one of the hardest thing one can encounter. I had to do it for my grandma last year and i still get tears in my eyes when i hear that music.
I wish you lots of strenght.

Greetz ketoet

bassmonster wrote:I don't have any advice, but I'm sorry to hear that.

+1

Zelfde gevoel als de anderen: dat is zo heftig dat ik niet goed weet wat ik je kan aanraden. Is hij in staat met jou samen voor te bereiden deze dagen? Dat lijkt mij het mooiste als hij dat nog kan. Samen aan de slag, terugdenken aan de leukste gigs die je samen hebt gedaan en dat gevoel erin proberen te leggen. Gebruik het om samen nog eens lol te hebben, geniet van de korte tijd die je misschien nog hebt. Veel sterkte voor jullie, ook voor de tijd erna, en wens je vriend/collega veel kracht voor volgende week. Ik denk aan hem, hoop dat het een klein beetje helpt.

En als hij er bovenop komt na de operatie: gebruik wat jullie voorbereiden om na herstel het leven te vieren. Misschien kun je dat zelfs als uitgangspunt nemen?

AntonZ wrote:Zelfde gevoel als de anderen: dat is zo heftig dat ik niet goed weet wat ik je kan aanraden. Is hij in staat met jou samen voor te bereiden deze dagen? Dat lijkt mij het mooiste als hij dat nog kan. Samen aan de slag, terugdenken aan de leukste gigs die je samen hebt gedaan en dat gevoel erin proberen te leggen. Gebruik het om samen nog eens lol te hebben, geniet van de korte tijd die je misschien nog hebt. Veel sterkte voor jullie, ook voor de tijd erna, en wens je vriend/collega veel kracht voor volgende week. Ik denk aan hem, hoop dat het een klein beetje helpt.

En als hij er bovenop komt na de operatie: gebruik wat jullie voorbereiden om na herstel het leven te vieren. Misschien kun je dat zelfs als uitgangspunt nemen?

Ik ben het met AntonZ. Het beste van hopen, bidden, als het helpt, en er te zijn voor je vriend. In de afgelopen jaren heb ik mijn vader, oudste broer en een zus, maar al te jong verloren. Ik voel ze in mijn hart elke dag.

I'm greaving with you brother, ...not for the 85% clinical probability, but the reality of clinging to life and paradoxically also making preparations, in all manner of ways.

I rediscovered a haunting song recently, very apt for contemplating or rationalising loss emotionally. It's Mountains High by Delirious?. Don't be worried about being broken - its a place of strength, not weakness.

greetings. if your friend is a bible believer, i'd have the song " grave robber " by petra. better to play the CD as greg volz sings in a high range few can do. go to you tube and preview it. even live, they nail it.

this song refers to how there is no eternal sting or bite since redemption hit the whole globe through the exchange of one for all. . .
few preach the true gospel of grace and peace ( the only 2 things it's called in the bible ) and most everyones out of context sermons has god being a skitzo unjust fool.

of course, we miss our loved ones, but i feel o.k. about " the end", which is really just the beginning of the best of times to come.
that's my belief, dont ask me to prove it.

ah what the hell, if anyone wants IN CONTEXT free teachings of the bible, go to

http://www.gospelrevolution.com

and download anything from the archives.

jesus didnt preach or start any religion or denominations, or christianity, which is a compromise of law and grace and is anti gospel.
and no, i wont debate this with anyone. if no one likes the teachings on this sight hosted by mike williams, dont follow them.

your friend needs to know that he is redeemed and gonna be fine. it's us whom remain that have to deal with the event of a loved one passing on.

Freebird

Seriously

first of all thank you all for the kind words and suggestions!

Had a pretty hard time with this but we've got a little list together which tells the story off his life and talked about a lot of memories we share and actually had a few laughs about all the crazy things from the past, that felt really nice!

we're all hoping that things go well with the surgery. but just in case, we're prepared now.

My heart goes out to you and your lifelong friend.

It saddens me that you have been left feeling as you do. It's very hard to cope with when a great mate may possibly die.

Given my own history, there aren't that many operations that fall into the 15% category. However, these statistics are based on morbidity and and mortality findings.
These figures never account for those who fight to live with strong will and positive attitudes, during the operation and when it comes to recovery. I hope your friend has that.

On the flip side, I applaud your friend who has realistically looked to prepare himself for a possible outcome. Many people will get a will, but not think of the finer details or the preparation required to die with dignity.

My only advice would be to continue being the great mate you are

after a couple of very intense Weeks of living between hope and fear, my friend was operated on yesterday!

The surgery took about seven hours in which three vertebrae we're opened because the spinal cord was being pushed out through a crack in the front of one of them. there was scar tissue inside which has been removed after which the opening/crack at the front of the spinal cord was sealed. from what I was told a team of doctors from all over the country was there because something like this only happens once every four years in the Netherlands.

as far as we know now surgery went well, He is in a lot of pain but prognosis is he'll recover completely and the pain and numb feeling in his legs, he has now will disappear!

I want to thank you all for your hopes and prayers, as it looks now they have helped! What a wonderful little community we have here!

Hey glad to hear he's doing well.