BillFitzmaurice.info

bmf wrote:

Radian wrote:Grant, uhhh.....as I recall sound guys don't get laid.

Apparently I did this all wrong....

I'm the sound guy and married the drummers sister

Like he said...
What does a man say to get a woman to stop having sex with him?

"I do."

I've been on a business trip all week and come back to a thread titled 'Timpbizkit' and the subject matter has turned to getting laid.

One question is obviously missing when you consider the thread title and the current subject matter.

I predict it's going to be a very awkward situation.

Harley wrote:I've been on a business trip all week and come back to a thread titled 'Timpbizkit' and the subject matter has turned to getting laid.

One question is obviously missing when you consider the thread title and the current subject matter.

I think the answer to the implied question is no, not even if he was in a women's prison with a backpack full of pardons.

Bill Fitzmaurice wrote:

Harley wrote:I've been on a business trip all week and come back to a thread titled 'Timpbizkit' and the subject matter has turned to getting laid.

One question is obviously missing when you consider the thread title and the current subject matter.

I think the answer to the implied question is no, not even if he was in a women's prison with a backpack full of pardons.

It must suck to have no right of reply!

escapemcp wrote:It must suck to have no right of reply!

+1

In the spirit of getting laid... and... "what does a man have to say to a woman to get her to stop having sex with him".... etc... I offer up the below old and dependable joke.

Q: When getting married why is the bride smiling so much as she walks down the aisle?

Ans: Because she knows she has given her last Bl*w J*b!

Since we'd started down this path.....

The bass player in our band sent a couple of the tracks for the upcoming CD to a female friend of his for her critique.....here's her thoughts....

First off, THERE'S that gorgeous bass solo I was wanting. You should be getting laid on a regular basis with those bass chops!

I guess by now we all know the woman is unhinged, because we all know that bass players don't get laid....no matter how good they play.

A man takes an old oil lamp into a pawnshop and pawns it. The pawnshop owner, an elderly Jew, rubs the lamp to clean it. There's a puff of smoke, and a Genie appears. The Genie says to the old man "I am the Genie of the Lamp, whatever you wish is yours!"

The old Jew goes over to a book case and takes down a world atlas. He opens the atlas, turns it to a map of the Middle East. He points at the map and says "I wish that there be peace here".

The Genie says, "There has been nothing but war here since the beginning of time. Even I with all my power cannot bring peace to these lands. Please, ask for something else".

The old Jew ponders for a moment, and then says, "My wife and I have been married for fifty years. Fifty years, and I've never gotten a blow job. For my wish I want that my wife gives me a blow job".

The Genie says to the old Jew:
"Let me have another look at that map".

That's a variant on the usual telling I hear... Gold.

Bruce Weldy wrote:I guess by now we all know the woman is unhinged, because we all know that bass players don't get laid....no matter how good they play.

So, you've obviously not ready Bill Wyman's book 'Stone alone'

And, take it from me, that woman's not unhinged in her thinking. It's not so much how well they play, it's the way they play

Where I live here in Minnesota, an extensive and fairly expensive survey was done studying marriages. They were trying to determine if there was a consistency in the death rates and what the percentages were regarding age groups, so on. The study showed that married men usually pass on before the wife. The results? They concluded that married men die first because they want to. . .